The Gifts and Challenges of Being a Women with ADHD
If you're a woman who’s ever wondered, “Why can’t I keep up like everyone else?” or “Why does it feel like I'm my brain is working against me?”—you’re not alone. ADHD in women is so often misunderstood, overlooked, or misdiagnosed. But when it’s identified and supported? There’s so much possibility for transformation.
As a clinician, I love working with women with ADHD in the therapy room. Why? Because I’ve seen firsthand how powerful it is when a woman starts to understand her brain not as broken, but as wired differently—with strengths, creativity, and depth that have often gone unrecognized or unappreciated.
The ADHD Experience: Not One-Size-Fits-All
Although ADHD symptoms often show up similarly in men and women, the internal experience can feel wildly different. Women with ADHD tend to internalize more—feeling shame, guilt, or inadequacy long before they even realize what’s going on. Many of my clients are high-achievers, perfectionists, or even the “responsible one” in their families—yet behind the scenes, they’re struggling with executive dysfunction, emotional overwhelm, or intense mental fatigue.
And it’s not just about focus. ADHD can show up as:
Difficulty following through on tasks (even when they really want to)
Emotional sensitivity and reactivity
Challenges with memory, time-blindness, or impulsivity
Overfunctioning to “compensate” for perceived shortcomings
ADHD + Gender Roles: The Invisible Load
Let’s name it: societal expectations hit differently when you're a woman with ADHD. Many of us are carrying the mental and emotional labor in relationships, in parenting, in the workplace, in the household—on top of managing the ADHD symptoms that no one sees or validates.
Women with ADHD are more likely to:
Feel overwhelmed by household demands
Struggle with parenting burnout
Battle negative self-talk about their “capabilities” or “worth”
In therapy, we dig into these beliefs: Was there shame attached to these symptoms? Were your caregivers attuned to your needs? Who told you you had to do it all? Where did that story come from? What would it feel like to rewrite that narrative with more compassion and truth?
Co-Occurring Conditions: It's Not Just ADHD
So often, by the time a woman receives an ADHD diagnosis, she's already been treated for anxiety, depression, or burnout. And no wonder—untreated ADHD can deeply alter our emotional wellbeing. It’s common to see overlaps with conditions like:
PMDD or postpartum depression
Eating disorders
Chronic health struggles
And hormones? They absolutely play a role. Estrogen, for example, helps regulate dopamine—the very neurotransmitter most involved in ADHD. No, you’re not imagining that your symptoms fluctuate with your cycle.
What the Work Looks Like: Therapy That Actually Meets You Where You Are
Therapy for ADHD isn't about “fixing” you. It’s about helping you work with your brain—not against it.
In my practice, that looks like:
A blend of CBT, DBT, and ACT tools
Exploring perfectionism, masking, and the impact of old coping strategies
Creating routines that honor your rhythm and needs (working alongside your body and brain, not against)
Partnering cognitive work with behavior changes that actually stick
Learning how to differentiate between what you want and what you think you should want
We slow down. We notice. We rewrite the story you’ve been living in. Because you don’t need more shame—you need tools, context, and a space that actually gets you.
I always say: progress is nonlinear. But with the right support, you can build a life that’s not just manageable—but deeply aligned.
Looking for a therapist who gets it? Let’s talk. I specialize in working with women navigating ADHD, anxiety, perfectionism, and identity shifts across Colorado and Florida—and I'd love to support you.
